I’ve Paid For This Twice Already…

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For the foreseeable future, every Friday afternoon I will be reviewing a section of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses and how it relates to me and my financial situation and outlook. The first review is here, Chapter 1 is here, Chapter 2 is here, and Chapters 3, 4, and 5 are here.

Love to shop? The next chapter of Make Money Not Excuses is especially for you. I have nothing to wear is about more than just clothes - it is about the internal love of shopping. Yes, I know not every woman has it (and many men have it as well) but the desire to shop is in many of us, even when we don’t need to.

And that’s basically the point of this chapter. Even when we say we “need” to shop, often, it isn’t really need, it is a want. There are definitely times when we need to shop. But as I illustrate with my grocery shopping analyses, even when shopping is needed, sometimes wants creep into that picture as well. There is nothing wrong with shopping, per se, but when indulging is a higher priority than our overall financial well-being, it helps to take a step back and see what it really going on. Chatzky says that knowing what prompts you to shop can help you channel that desire into more productive pursuits. She talks about unconscious shopping - when we shop just to shop, which is different from shopping to fulfill a need or even to fulfill a specific want. Sometimes this is indicative of a bigger problem like compulsive shopping, but sometimes, it is because we’ve associated shopping in our brains with certain feelings, and when we feel this way, we unconsciously gravitate towards shopping. The twelve reasons besides want need that she identifies for shopping are:

• Because you’re feeling blue (retail therapy)
• Because you want to feel powerful
• Because you want to be someone else
• Because you just don’t want to be you
• Because you deserve it
• Because you’d rather shop than go to the movies (bonding)
• Because no one - and I mean no one - can tell you what to do
• Because you need a friend (or at the very least a compliment)
• Because you’re on autopilot
• Because you don’t want to die
• Because it looked good at the time
• Because you can’t stop

And, as everything in the book, not everything applies to every person. The book goes into detail explaining each of these, and I found myself in quite a few more than I would have previously realized. I like to shop. I enjoy it. And I realized that some of the time, I divorce “shopping” from the end result of “possessing”. I may see something in a store that sparks my interest and I think I want it, but I don’t think through to picturing myself using it in the future, I just focus on the immediate wanting it. These are the things that invariably end up in a closet somewhere after half a dozen (or less) uses. I also do this with children’s clothing. I’ll see something, on sale or at a yard sale, that I think is cute, and I won’t consider if my child actually needs it, or even think past it being cute to if it suits my child. I will bring it home, it’ll go into rotation, and either never get worn because my child already has 15 other t-shirts or pants or whatever, or it’ll be something my child never wears like overalls. I used to dress my son in overalls all the time when he was 18 months old. He is three, almost four, so that was a long time ago, and he refuses to wear overalls now. Yet once in a while, somehow, I buy overalls.

So what to do? Chatzky says to stop shopping and start living, and lists 5 crucial questions to ask yourself when you shop:

• What am I doing here?
• What was the trigger that sent me here?
• How do I feel?
• Is the thing I am about to reach for something I need? What happens if I don’t buy it?
• What happens if I do buy it?

Starting to ask myself these questions once I read this book has all but broken me of one of my past favorite pastimes - clearance shopping. And that is a good thing. I used to head straight for the clearance rack of any store I went into. And, in fact, would go into stores just to check out their clearance rack. And yes - great bargains can be found on the clearance aisle. But if the bargain is something I won’t really end up using, don’t need, and almost don’t want, how much of a bargain is that? I would acquire stuff just to acquire it. Breaking myself of that habit has gone a long way towards improving my finances as well as the state of clutter in my house. This is not to say I never visit a clearance rack - but now I only do when I have a specific need for something I think I could find there, and I try my best to not pick up other random deals unless they make sense for me and my family. Staying out of Target completely has done a lot more for me than hitting the clearance racks there every Wednesday right after they do their big weekly markdown at the one near my house.

At the end of the chapter, Chatzky addresses a topic that she’s written another separate book on, involving her debt diet. She doesn’t go into a lot of detail here about it, but basically, all this shopping may have put us into debt, and this is a plan for getting out. She equates getting out of debt to a diet because it makes it easier for many people to wrap their head around. The rules of the diet include but are not limited to not using credit, making a list when you shop, shopping online vs at stores, tracking your spending, and more. There isn’t a lot of new information here but it is presented in a way that may make it more accessible to some people - if I wasn’t fully immersed and obsessed with getting out of debt already, this part of the chapter might have spoken to me more.

So all in all - stop shopping to shop. If you enjoy shopping (like I do), know why you enjoy it, and don’t make the acquisition the point of shopping. Next week we’ll look at saving and investing - no, it’s not too complicated to understand! And it is important to start.

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For the foreseeable future, every Friday afternoon I will be reviewing a section of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses and how it relates to me and my financial situation and outlook. The first review is here, Chapter 1 is here, Chapter 2 is here.

The next three chapters of Make Money Not Excuses are all inter-related to me, so I’ve grouped them together in one review. My husband does that, I’m too disorganized, and I don’t have enough time all boil down to one common thing to me - blaming some external factor that you think is out of your control for your lack of involvement in your financial situation.

First off, But My Husband Does That. I am the opposite side of the coin, in that I do all the money-management and my spouse probably would say “But my wife does that”. Chatzky says that it basically boils down to two big reasons - either he wants control, and/or you want him to have control. I know that is true in our case - I want to control our finances and my spouse does not, so I do. I have slowly been getting him more involved and aware, but it is an uphill battle for both of us.

If you see yourself in this, let go of what you were taught. The man doesn’t genetically have the right to handle the money. And honestly, for me I don’t think it matters at all who makes more. I usually make substantially less than my spouse, and yet I handle the money.

Chatzky gives some suggestions for helping you to take control of your money, including separate bank accounts (at least, in part), which isn’t ideal for us I don’t think but can work for many people, and then goes through strategies to deal with common money battles, including:

• You Spend Too Much
• You’re Too Cheap
• You’re Too Controlling
• You Don’t Tell Me Anything

If one or more of those is a common refrain in your house, this chapter is worth a read!

The next chapter is I’m Too Disorganized To Deal With My Money. I can relate to this because I am a very disorganized person who has deluded herself for many years into thinking (and believing) she is organized. I do believe that there are inherent tendencies towards disorganization some of us have more than others. However, that is no excuse for letting your finances fall by the wayside.

Chatzky says the first step is understanding the comfort of clutter. And for me, she’s right. Even though I think in my brain that the clutter drives me crazy, in many ways it is comforting to feel like you have anything you might need (even if that isn’t true). And from that comes the best part of the book (for me), Find Your Urge To Purge. This shows a lot of common excuses for keeping clutter, what you really mean when you say it, and how to turn it on its head and think of the flip side of the argument instead. It is brilliant, and motivated me to purge a bunch of clutter all at once. For example:

• You Say: “I might need it someday.”
• You Mean: “I’m afraid to give it up.”
• Think Instead: “How many other things do I have I can use instead?”

The other common excuses turned on their head include but it might come in handy someday, but it still works (a huge one for me), and but it cost a lot of money.

The rest of the chapter looks at strategies to get more organized, and stay that way, including cutting down on the amount of paper than comes into your life and having a place for financial information to live. The average woman spends 55 minutes a day searching for things (I think I probably spend double…) so getting things under control will save you tons of time, which leads to…

I Don’t Have Any Time. This is the next chapter of the book, and Chatzky begins it with reasons that we feel like we have less time. The one that really surprised me was multi-tasking. I am one of the few people who still thought multi-tasking was a useful skill. But multi-tasking, or starting and stopping tasks constantly, actually wastes time because it takes your brain time to get back to the point you were at when you stopped doing the first thing when you go back to it.  So what should we do?  Chatzky outlines four simple steps to take control of our time, and by extension, our money:

1. Know what’s important
2. Prioritize
3. Accomplish well what you need to, in as little time as possible
4. Prevent things from slipping through the cracks

There are tools and tips galore for each of these steps, and by taking control of our time, we take control of our lives, including money.

Next week we’ll look at But I Have Nothing To Wear, which isn’t really me but I cannot resist a sale, so the chapter really does apply to me in a lot of ways.  We’re taking control!  We are taking charge!  And our finances will reflect it, bit by bit.

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For the foreseeable future, every Friday afternoon I will be reviewing a section of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses and how it relates to me and my financial situation and outlook. The first review is here and Chapter 1 is here.

So now that we’ve figured out where to begin, Make Money Not Excuses addresses the next common excuse Chatzky hears for why women aren’t taking charge of their financial future. Fear of numbers. From way back in the dark ages (like, when I was a kid) that evil stereotype that girls aren’t good at math rears its ugly head. I am here to tell you that girls can be great at math! But, there is a kernel of truth in the “I hate numbers” idea - math anxiety. A bad experience in the past with math, be it not doing well on a test, or not being able to do a problem on the chalkboard - can cause a lifelong phobia involving math and numbers.

Here’s the thing. Math hatred is a learned response. You can conquer it! And Chatzky gives a lot of ideas for how. In a nutshell, first learn to have a positive association with money - through saving for the sake of saving (saving feels good!), set a goal for something you want and save for it, then spend on it, invest in something you feel good about, and give to something you feel is important. Give yourself positive feedback in the form of the actions you take with your money.

Next, find your motivation and learn the basics. What motivates you around money? Is it a general improvement of your finances, or is there something specific? And then learn the basics - not calculus, but things like decimals and percentages. Knowledge is power, indeed.

I feel comfortable with numbers and math, but the last part of the chapter had information I could use - learning to ask for money. Meaning, learning to negotiate. I am terrible at negotiation. I just hate it. It makes me feel panicked and scared. Chatzky goes into the four emotional reasons for this response, and then six rules to follow to get the best deal. Since I’ll be shopping for a new furnace soon, I have to practice this. I need a good deal! Want to know the reasons? You’ll have to read the chapter to find out.

Next week we’ll discuss “But My Husband Does That…” which, again, I do everything, but I read it from the other side - how do I get my husband to be more involved? Do you hear me honey? We’re going to have yet another talk…

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For the foreseeable future, every Friday afternoon I will be reviewing a section of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses and how it relates to me and my financial situation and outlook. The first review is here.

Last week I started my review of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses. The book sets out to empower women to take charge of their financial future by overcoming the fears that are holding them back. Today we’re going to look at the first fear: I don’t know where to begin.

Chatzky talks about that wherever she goes to give talks and presentations, there is always someone in the audience who eventually admits that their problem is that they have no idea where to start. Why? Why is that such a common problem, when we all make dozens of decisions every day? The answer is that with money, especially investing, there is often not a clear cut “right” and “wrong”. Which stock? Which mutual fund? The entire thing becomes too overwhelming. I know that I related to this when I read it, because it often does seem like I’m just shooting in the dark and hoping I don’t do something stupid. And, as the book says, the world of money involves higher stakes. So what if the South Beach bars I bought for my spouse don’t get eaten? I might hate wasting $3.00, but I’ll hate more losing thousands in the stock market. I saw myself in this, and I realized this is probably another of the long list of reasons I haven’t opened 529 accounts for my kids, and why my spouse hasn’t rolled over his IRA from a CD to mutual funds yet.

The best part of this chapter, to me, was The Power of Good Enough. In so many ways, I always think I need to be perfect, or the best, but Chatzky reminds us that we don’t. We simply need to be good enough. Our investments don’t have to outperform everyone else’s, they just have to do well enough to meet our goals. I have a lot of trouble with this, but its true. Trying to be perfect gets in the way of being good enough.

The Get Rich section of the chapter outlines eight ways to begin. I’m not going to go over each in detail, but I wanted to give a little snippet of what they are. In the book each has a great little mantra you can repeat to yourself to remember why it’s a smart choice along with the specific place to begin:

• Sign up for an automatic savings plan
• Call a local lawyer and tell him or her you need a will
• Pause before you purchase
• Start protecting your credit score
• Use a debit card, not a credit card
• Take money out of your savings or money-market account to pay off high interest credit card debt
• Call your benefits department at work and sign up for a 401K or increase your contribution, or a flexible spending account
• Save money on homeowners, auto, and life insurance - investigate options

The chapter ends with some questions from the money group, and my favorite is “What if I make a mistake?“. The answer? My short version of the answer - you will make a mistake. Do your best and move on.

Next week we’ll look at I Like Money, It’s Numbers I Can’t Stand. I myself love numbers, but I found some useful tips here for the math-phobic among us.

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For the foreseeable future, every Friday afternoon I will be reviewing a section of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses and how it relates to me and my financial situation and outlook. This is the first review encompassing an overview of the book and the introduction.

A few weeks ago, the publishers of the paperback edition of Jean Chatzky’s Make Money Not Excuses contacted me and asked if I would be interested in receiving a copy of the book. I looked it up online and it sounded interesting, so I said yes. And honestly, once I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down. I don’t watch a whole lot of TV, so I’d never even heard of Jean Chatzky (she is on the Today Show as the financial editor as well as contributes to Oprah) but I am glad I accepted the book - it has inspired me to take action on a number of things I’d been putting off including helping me loosen my deathgrip on my “stuff”, and gave me a whole new way to look at the excuses I make for ignoring parts of my financial picture. Over the next several weeks (I am honestly not sure how many, but more than 4 and less than 14), I am going to take a deeper look inside a section of the book, talk about what it covers, and how it related to my own life and where we are now. Each review will encompass at least a chapter of the book.

Make Money Not Excuses is geared specifically towards women and their relationship with money. The book is subtitled “Wake Up, Take Charge, and Overcome Your Financial Fears Forever”, and the book basically takes 10 common financial “excuses”, really fears, that account for why women don’t take more control over their financial future, and breaks each of them down in its own chapter. Not every fear will apply to every person, but looking at all ten, there will be something to relate to a majority of people. Each chapter is broken into two sections - the first looks at the reasons people use for avoiding financial responsibility (a deeper look into the “excuse”), and the second section gives practical steps for moving forward. Interspersed within each chapter is the “Map to a Million” - showing how the small (or large) changes outlined will affect you financially and put you on the road to millions - with hard numbers. And bookending each chapter is questions from Chatzky’s “Money Group” - her real-life money discussion group (there are even tips to start your own if you are so inclined) and Chatzky’s answers to those questions.

But enough about the structure of the book (although I found it very accessible and appealing). The introduction is titled “Why Aren’t You Richer?” and - why aren’t we? Chatzky outlines that there are just four things we need to do to become wealthier than we are today:

• Make a decent living
• Spend less than you make
• Invest money you don’t spend so it can work as hard for you as you’re working for yourself
• Protect yourself and the financial world you’ve built so disaster (big and small) doesn’t take it away

There are lots of small things you can do, but these four are the “cornerstones” upon which everything else is built. She then goes into the statistics of how women fall short financially, and says these aren’t reasons we’re not richer - they’re the results. And we can change them, if only we can work through our excuses and get out of our own way. She listed a number of common excuses, and then wrote something that really hit the nail on the head for me and made me think “Duh, why didn’t I realize that before?”

These excuses allow us to believe that it’s okay that we don’t know where to start.

And for me, that totally rang true. Being able to just say a common excuse, like “Investing is over my head” gives me permission in my own mind to continue to ignore it. Someday, when I have more time to think about it…

But that’s not okay. Just because I can trick myself into letting me off the hook doesn’t mean that I should be. I’ve made a whole lot of progress in a short time, but I can’t be satisfied with just that. The book spoke to me in that sentence, and it continued to in different ways throughout the rest of the book, which is why I am so excited to share it with my readers.

Chatzky then outlines her own financial awakening, and talks about why more and more women are now at a turning point with wealth - we make more, so we start wanting more control, and we started wanting actual wealth. And that’s a good thing. We should be prepared for the future. We shouldn’t become a depressing statistic.

With that, the ten excuses we’ll explore in detail in the coming weeks and shed once and for all are:

1. I Don’t Know Where To Begin
2. I Like Money - It’s Numbers I Can’t Stand
3. But My Husband Does That…
4. ‘m Too Disorganized To Deal With My Money
5. I Don’t Have Any Time
6. I Have Nothing To Wear
7. I’d LOVE To Start Saving, But I Don’t Know How
8. I Can Deal With My Money - It’s Investing I Can’t Stand
9. I’m Too Old - Its Too Late For Me
10. I Don’t Want To Think About It

As I said, some will apply to particular people more than others, but within them, there is something for everyone, I think. Next week, we’ll learn where to begin.

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