I’ve Paid For This Twice Already…

Goals, Balance, and Insight - All For The Price of Soccer Camp

This week my 5 year old son has been attending soccer camp in the mornings, so every day we all get up, get dressed, eat some breakfast and head out to the soccer fields for a few hours.  My 2 year old daughter, not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, is not amused.  She spends the first half hour or so huddled on my shoulder trying to pretend to still be asleep, and then gets a burst of energy and runs around like crazy trying to get into as much mischief as possible until camp is done and we head home.

The soccer field is part of a much larger park, which is good because it gives my daughter a lot of room to run around in, but at the same time, she can’t just do anything she wants, because there are service roads, other fields, and other obstacles she needs to be aware of and avoid.  At 2, she doesn’t always recognize her limits, and this being a new place, she doesn’t always know what she is supposed to do.

What works the best for her (and for me) is finding a balance between letting her roam free and setting very clear limits on what her freedom entails.  She cannot enter the parking lots.  She cannot climb on top of the picnic tables.  She can run all the way to the end of the unused field next to my son’s, but not across the road at the end.  Things of this nature, that keep her safe but let her have some freedom to make choices as well.  Too many rules and she can’t remember them all and doesn’t bother to even try to follow any of them.  Too few, and she could end up hurt, or worse, because she’s not yet equipped to make judgments about the consequences of some of her actions.

Does that mean she doesn’t test those limits?  No, of course not.  I’ve stopped her many a time this past week as she looks at me and carefully steps one foot over the line into the soccer field my son is playing in, or puts her knee up onto the top of a table.   She is two, after all.

All this has reminded me a lot of the process of finding a balance between working towards one’s long term goals and enjoying life here in the present.  Every individual, couple or family’s balance will be different, but the process of finding that balance is strangely similar to keeping my two year old from hurting herself or becoming a disruption.  Too many restrictions (focusing exclusively on the future and not on the present) can make one rebel and try to break every rule.  Too much leniency (or no control over what happens in the here and now) and an emergency could be a never-ending disaster.

Our balance has changed over time, sometimes more focused on getting to the point of debt free, sometimes more focused on preparing for emergencies, and sometimes a little more focused on enjoying life in the here and now, but when we aren’t working on a balance, and focus too much on one aspect, we tend to lose sight of the big picture.   And a few times of stepping over the line, so to speak, testing those limits and backsliding at times as well, serves to reinforce why those limits are there, and can be turned into a positive and a renewed commitment.

Where is your balance?  What are you working toward?  What helps you to keep on track?

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