When You Feel Like Your Life’s Gone To Hell In A Handbasket
Or, how to bounce back from adversity and keep on trucking.
I was thinking to myself this morning, that if three months ago, I had had any idea of what lay ahead in the next few months for me, I might have just crawled under my bed and refused to come out. Just three months ago seems like a lifetime ago now. I was a completely different person in a completely different place in my life in a lot of ways. I’ve lost one parent, the was hospitalized for the past 4 days for severe breathing issues complicated by the flu, and we had to abandon our car on our 1000 mile drive back from visiting family (although we were eventually able to rescue it). I remember that two months ago, I thought the car dying on our trip was so awful – now it seems trivial compared to what happened next.
My mother is continuing to recover, and I thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. She had a pretty massive asthma attack Thursday morning, and my brother originally was taking her to the emergency room but decided to call 911 instead. the EMTs got her breathing under control for the moment, and was in the hospital until Sunday, getting IV antibiotics for the flu/bronchitis as well as breathing treatments and other such things. She is resting at home now, and continuing to get better with a new asthma control regimen.
Every time I seem to get things sorted out and under some kind of control this year, something new happens. I’ve completely lost touch with the goals I set just a few short months ago at the beginning of 2009, and I honestly feel like my world is spinning ever so quickly out of any semblance of order it might have had. But restore it to order I must, and figure out how to get back on track (or at least, find the track to get on!). I am a fan of lists, and I’ve made myself a list today of steps to get things right-side up again.
- Reevaluate my 2009 goals. What makes sense? What doesn’t? The purpose of goals is to motivate and help you, are mine doing that or are they hindering my progress?
- Organize my current finances – where are we in March? What’s been spent, what is coming in, what needs to be spent or saved?
- Set short term goals for March and April. Since any long term plans I make right now have a tendency to be mucked up, I think it’ll be more motivating to set some short term goals as well.
- Remember that all plans are subject to change. I get a little hung up on things going according to plan. But, sometimes, they don’t.
Basically, it all boils down to refocusing. It is easy to just bury my head in the sand and claim that I can’t cope with reality. Be that as it may, the smarter thing to do is to refocus and get started on something. The faster I get started on getting back into the swing of things, the easier in the long run it will be. Now to get started on the list….
March 9th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Just wanted to say how impressed I am at you continuing to keep trying to be on track despite everything that’s been happening. I read your blog to be motivated and inspired, and this is certainly motivating and inspiring. Thank you, and I hope things get better.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
So glad to hear that your Mom is doing better. Now take some deep breaths, yourself. Your wisdom continues to inspire me.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
Lau Tzu
March 9th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Very glad your mom is doing better.
When I first started blogging, I was impressed by your level-headed approach to things and I continue to be. It sounds like you’re taking some good steps at getting back on track. *hugs*
March 9th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Very glad to hear you Mom’s situation is now stable.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Chaos and turmoil used to be a daily part of our lives. “If only” we were as financially responsible as you are now, we’d be in so much better shape, not climbing out a hole dug years ago while we were busy putting out fires. So, you’re doing great; short term goals are perfect for now, but I know you’re keeping your “eyes on the prize”.
Glad your mom is doing better, and, BTW, GOOD MOVE getting the paramedics to come to her–I’m sure she got attended to much more quickly and appropriately, which meant her recovery has been quicker and less complicated! Unfortunately, beware of the crazy medical bills coming soon !
Take Care.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
There was supposed to be a long *sigh* after the “crazy medical bills”……
I’ve long astonished folks when I happily declare life is boring right now
March 9th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Glad to see you back! From a totally selfish point of view, this is one of my favorite PF blogs…you were missed. Hope your mom continues on the road to recovery and that all the undeserved chaos on your life settles down.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
So glad to hear your mom is doing better. That’s the most important thing. I know what you mean about wanting things to go exactly to plan – I know I’m too hard on myself in that respect too, and I sometimes set unrealistic goals.
Perhaps when you get a little time to revisit your spending plan, you might take a look at You Need a Budget Pro? It makes it so easy to keep on track, even when you don’t get chance to visit it every day. I found that out for myself recently when some health issues prevented me from tracking our budget for a couple of weeks, thankfully I’m now fully recovered.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I’m very glad your mother is recovering! Family should be the top priority, and if you have to move your goals around, so be it. Just keep your ultimate goal of financial freedom in view, even if you can’t be treading down the path every single minute.
March 9th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
God Bless you!
March 9th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Sorry to hear about your mom! I was diagnosed with asthma in 2002 after a bout with pneumonia and usually colds exacerbate my breathing, but the cold I caught in January was really bad, so bad that I had to actually go in to my asthma specialist. Something bad is going around this year. I’m also sorry to hear so many things are turned upside down in your life. I can relate! Hang in there, and hope things settle back down to a normal frenzy soon.
March 10th, 2009 at 6:44 am
Hang in there and remember that it’s always darkest before the dawn. With all the adversity in my life over the last year or two, I have found that it really, really helps me to stop for a minute and think about all the things that are going right and how lucky I really am. It at least keeps me sane while things are falling apart.
March 10th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Hang in there. Life oftentimes throws major curveballs but we are meant to be flexible and roll with it. Trust that it will eventually get better, and hang on for the wild ride.
Goals are a point you are aiming for. The path there however does not have to be rigid. The goal can remain fairly the same, just the time frame will be changing. It’s ok to be adaptable and flexible, and change the timeline to go with the goal’s final outcome. Sometimes we just don’t give ourselves enough time because we cannot see what obstacles the near future is bringing us. So adjust your timeline for reaching your end result, but hang on to the dream itself of finishing it
March 10th, 2009 at 9:39 am
I always believed in Murphy’s Law but now I’m starting to think that it’s just every day life. I remember my grandmother always saying that God never gave you more than you could handle but sometimes I thought that God was doing some serious testing because who knew that I could take so much.
The same can be said for you. The testing is always hard but when you come through the other side you can look back and be thankful for your own strength to survive.
Keep on truckin’.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Hey there,
You are doing great and I’m so glad to hear Mom is on the mend. I just wanted to give you a gentle reminder to give yourself time to grieve and mourn. I know that life/culture/society is screaming messages at you about getting back on the horse and getting ‘over it’ (whatever the he** that means) but you have a very big, very sudden loss that you are coping with and I just wanted to be a quiet voice that says give yourself a break. If you want to hear more about some of the books and coping practices that I know about, please feel free to email me. Be sure to do something nice for yourself each day. You deserve it!
March 10th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I send you strength and good wishes. I send your mother health and strong lungs. I’m asthmatic and I’ve been nebulized more times than I care to remember.
Keep plugging away and re-evaluate your priorities if you need to. Stay flexible and rejuvenate yourself so you can be a pillar for others.
March 11th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I am so thankful your mother is doing better. I have been praying for you and your family and I am thankful God has answered those prayers. Nothing is as important as family and God. God will give you the grace to handle these problems as they arise. Keep going forward on a daily basis and things will improve.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I admire your courage and strength in the wake of everything that has been going on in your life the last few weeks. God bless you and your family. I’m glad to hear your mother is doing better.