Spending Sacrifices The Future, But Saving Sacrifices Today
I am, in my heart, a planner, and I am all for saving for the future. I believe that we can never be prepared enough for what lies ahead, and knowing that, all we can do is try our best to be prepared for it. I think a lot about what we could be doing and what we should be doing today so that tomorrow, whatever happens, we have at least a fighting chance of handling it gracefully. I have re-evaluated our “emergency” and “retirement” plans as we become closer to being financially solvent, and have adjusted them accordingly to try and help prepare us, as best we can, for whatever it is that lies ahead for my spouse and I as a couple, and my family in total. And that has involved, over the past few years, us increasing our savings and limiting our spending, as a general and continual trend.
But that being said, it is really all about balance. If we go through life calculating the potential future effect of every single purchase we make in terms of how much money we could have at retirement, we would all be miserable. The key is to knowing when the supposed sacrifice is worth it. And that “worth it” can change every day, every week, every situation. We can’t go through life asking ourselves if that latte is worth $2000 later, because it never will be. But if we never ever spend any money unless we absolutely have to, what joy do we have in life?
Enjoy the moment, enjoy the purchase, enjoy the gadget. When you commit to doing something fun, today, and in the moment, for yourself or for others with you, commit to it without regrets. If we spend every minute we are supposedly having fun worrying that we made the wrong move, we take the very joy we were seeking out of that experience.
Balance. Priorities. Look to that experience, that moment. Don’t rush through the occasional extravagance because it makes you feel guilty. Learn to balance between having a healthy respect for the needs of tomorrow, and have a healthy respect as well for the enjoyment of life today.
Life is only lived once, after all. Live it.
February 6th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Truer words were never spoken.
Thank you!
February 6th, 2009 at 11:12 am
I couldn’t agree more, and beautifully put. Thanks for your blog; I read it faithfully and have gotten so much from it. Blessings to you & yours!
February 6th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I love your site and can tell that you are very focused & have achieved a lot of your goals. Based on that, I think this post was especially meaningful. We all need to practice balance and this is an excellent commentary on that!
February 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Hmmm? “But if we never ever spend any money unless we absolutely have to, what joy do we have in life?”
Money buys joy? Really?
Sounds like you’re (like most of us) just tired of fighting the good fight. Relax, take good care of yourself, sleep, lots of hugs, time to just “be.”
In a while, you’ll be ready to take on the debt again.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
My husband and I struggle with this dynamic a lot. He has ADD and parents who weren’t very good with money. So he is more prone to living in the moment. I tend to go to the other extreme of denying myself as much as possible in the now — which can quickly lead to frugal burnout and problematic spending.
So I think we are actually good influences on each other. With my help, my husband is learning that it won’t, in fact, kill him to wait a week or two for certain purchases. (We are, in fits and starts, teaching him to wait until he has money in hand before purchasing.) Meanwhile, he reminds me that living entirely for the future leads to misery as surely as living entirely for the present.
We’re still a pretty good distance from the solution, but we are trying to find a good balance of small indulgences that keep us going for the longer term. Like marathoners who get cups of water at checkpoints.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
@ Kathyrn – That isn’t really it at all. It is not that money buys joy directly in that I have some kind of joy fund I can deposit a dollar into. But if we never spend any of the money we have for fear of not having enough of it in the future, what are we doing to ourselves in the here and now? That is my question, and your answer may be a lot different than mine. The idea is to consider that balance.
The reality is, money has its place in the world, or none of us would need any of it. I can live in a house that is completely paid off, yet the govt still wants property taxes from me. I can grow my own food, but I need to have somewhere to grow it. Living in an existence sans money completely is near impossible (not impossible probably, but unlikely for the vast majority of those who read this blog).
I could pare our lives, the lives of my family, down considerably by living in a strictly, honestly, absolutely ONLY necessity driven existence. But the point is to find a balance between necessity and want and living in the moment vs living for tomorrow. I still save. I still plan. I still pay down debt. I still look to the future when making critical decisions. None of that has changed. But I am also looking at now vs later a lot more critically.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Basically, if you can fit a latte a month into your budget, don’t water it down with tears. A very important message, I think. Thanks again, PaidTwice!
February 6th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Well said. I have great difficulty finding the balance between frugalness and impulse spending which can be rationalized in the moment. I just blew it big time: I have had the same cellphone for at least 6 years, and it works just fine. Last week, though, I “decided” I could combine a phone and PDA and trim the stuff I cart around. It started with buying the phone, then a new case, then a spare battery, styluses, then…. As soon as I booted up the new phone I knew I had made a BIG mistake. Fortunately, I have grown up enough to not just stuff my mistake(s) in the back of a closet, and am returning EVERYthing. It’ll be a PITA, but a good lesson. I don’t know how to balance the future and the now, and wish there were some sort of mental, unfailing test for when spending is OK, but as long as I have debt I want to pay down, it’s tough. Reading your blog is one of the things that keeps me focused. Thanks.
February 6th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Agreed! No point in treating yourself once in a while and then beating yourself up for the purchase. If you’re going to buy something, really think about whether it’s necessary; if the answer is yes, buy it with gusto and without regrets.
February 6th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
So true! I really enjoy your blog for this very reason. Your posts always remind me of the need for balance. I can’t have everything I want now so I can enjoy life better in the future AND enjoy today so I won’t have regrets tomorrow. Thanks again!
February 6th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
If you consider the impact of things you are doing you should be able to decide if the joy you will receive from the purchase is worth it. I own a boat, and everyone tells me how much of a money pit owning a boat is. I tell them that I enjoy very little more than I enjoy being on the water. I paid cash, that I could have invested, but that boat is investing in my happiness and enjoyment of life. Great post.
February 7th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Because you just had a life changing experience in your family, you are able to see the value of living…your priorities are shifted a little and life becomes so much more precious.
Take good care.
February 8th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Well said. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in planning for tomorrow that I forget to live now. I don’t want to reach my end years without adequate savings. At the same time, I don’t want to an old man that traded a life of memories and experiences for a fat bank account. My life (everyone’s life) is happening right now – and we all need to remember that. I may not even make it to retirement age – I may not even make it to next month! Tomorrow was never promised to any of us. I don’t think anyone should use that as an excuse to live a life of excess – it’s all about an appropriate balance.
February 8th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
In a similar vein, my two brothers and I personify all three mindsets discussed in this article.
The eldest brother had a spend first never save attitude. He will never think about how or why he spends his money.
The middle child, me, had a save to spend attitude. I like to have nice things so I will scrimp and save till I can get them.
The youngest brother is purely a saver and spends as little as possible with only having the goal building wealth and never plans to do anything with his bankroll.
It is a very interesting case study that I also live.
-chris
February 9th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Great post.
This is something we struggle with. With the “instant gratification” society we have become it is hard to save for the future and delay happiness. I am a firm believer that, like you said, their should be a good balance. We should enjoy today as there may not be a tomorrow, but we need to make arrangements for that tomorrow.
I find this to be true with life experiences such as a vacation. Our children will only grow up once and when you live in the northeast your opportunity to visit the beach doesn’t come around often. I would rather have a bare bones vacation that is saved and planned for that not have a vacation at all.
A very wise post and I enjoyed it thoroughly as it reinforced what we should remember on how to live and enjoy it.
February 9th, 2009 at 7:40 am
I’m with you BALANCE!
I am always seeking ways to live better on a restricted budget . . .
February 9th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Amen! Great post – balance is the way to go.