Hey, That’s Not Me (Anymore)
As this year comes to a close and 2009 looms, it has made me a bit introspective. Thinking about where I’ve been, looking to where I’m going, and analyzing where I am right now.
I realized that because I spend a lot of time online thinking about and talking about debt, I forget that I’m not in the same position I was in to begin with. When I started this blog, we had over $36,000 in non-mortgage debt, but more significantly (for my frame of mind) we had a pile (to me) of credit card debt. I think by the time I actually started this blog, it was down from its high of $12000 to somewhere between $7000 and $8000. For some, not a huge total but for us at the time, it felt almost insurmountable.
Credit card debt was, for me, a really oppressive force in my life. It almost felt like a living, breathing thing that hung over me and had an effect on every decision I made.
And now, being free of credit card debt for about 10 months, it is a joyous yet really odd feeling. On the one hand, it feels like it has been such a long time since we tackled that debt. So many things have happened since then, and so many other debts have been tackled. Our total debt is less than a third of what it was back then. But at the same time, I still really identify with having credit card debt, being in credit card debt, and having that yoke around my neck. When I read stories about consumers struggling with their credit card debt, I almost forget that that isn’t us any more, that that is a struggle we’ve passed and moved on from. When I read about people feeling trapped by their credit card debt, it still resonates with me. When people with credit card debt are demonized, still I feel that sting too.
Right now, even though we are not in credit card debt, we’re not financially prepared to handle any crisis without looking at options of credit. We have only a small line of direct defense, the $1000 emergency fund, to protect us. So even though we’ve escaped, we have only won the battle, not the war. Yet. Soon, maybe. But not quite yet.
As time goes by, and we build a safety net that does not, in any way, include credit cards, I think I will start to let that feeling of being in credit card debt go a little more. But I don’t know that I will ever completely lose that feeling, that identification, that little reminder. And I don’t think that is really a bad thing. Sometimes we do learn from our past. Hopefully, with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck thrown in, that means we aren’t doomed to repeat it.
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December 10th, 2008 at 9:07 am
It’s been 5 years since I have had credit card debt. I have never had student loan or car debt. And now don’t have mortgage debt. But I feel the same way you do. Just having been in debt still lingers with me and drives so much of my life today so that like you said, I don’t repeat it. I think this post is wonderful and will resonate with many.
December 10th, 2008 at 10:36 am
I am not sure if you ever lose that drowning feeling. I Have been out of debt (except our mortgage) for almost 4 years. I have said on my own blog before “Once you get in the black, you will not want to go back.” And I still feel strongly about that. Keep it up and you will live a better quality of life.
December 10th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
I spent most of my 20’s with too much credit card debt; I finally got my act together in my 30’s and learned to pay off the balance each month - OK I’m a little obsessive now and usually pay the balance off every few days (I love online banking). I still use credit cards for the rewards (money off on groceries).
I have such a strong memory of how horrid is was to have credit card debt - it was never a very large balance, maybe 2-3 thousand but it weighed a ton. I will never go back to carrying a balance and since discovering personal finance blogs earlier this year I have paid off my car (1 year early) and am now all about saving for an emergency fund and paying down my mortgage sooner. Having my mortgage be my only debt is great - now I am aiming for a really good emergency fund (2009) and then after that I’m going after the mortgage. I’ve finally learned that it is a lot easier to stay out of debt than it is to get out of debt.
December 10th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
how long did it take for you to pay off the $8000 debt?
December 10th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
About 9 months. From June 2007 to February 2008.
December 11th, 2008 at 10:45 am
This is a great perspective. Thanks paidtwice and all those who commented for the glimpse of the future.
December 15th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Although i have never had a problem with credit card debt, I can fully sympathize with those who have, because I write about credit cards and the credit industry frequently (www.creditfyi.com).
if you are unable to pay your balances in full each month, you might as well be juggling knives in the air with the way credit card issuers have stacked the deck in their favor with narrowly defined grace periods, late payment fees and usurious interest rates.
It’s time this industry became subject to more than its own self-regulation.