The Journey From Desperation To Choice
When I hit our bottom in 2003, I felt, in a word, desperate. Our income was barely meeting our expenses, I kept moving around our credit card balances but never seemed to be able to make any progress, and I felt like I was spiraling deeper and deeper into financial insanity. When my spouse and I vowed to not move our balance from card to card but do everything we could to pay things down and not use them again, I felt a little glimmer of hope in my heart, but I still felt trapped. We were starting down the right path but we had a long way to go and very little room to spare.
Fast forward to June 2007. We had made progress on reducing our credit card debt, but we’d added two children and a house to the mix, and although we hadn’t incurred any more credit card debt since 2003, desperate still basically summed up my feelings. We still lived very close to the edge, and a list of our bills each month matched up against a summary of our income left very little wiggle room to spare. This time, I vowed that not only would we eliminate our credit card debt, we would become proactive about doing so and in fact, we’d eliminate our car loan and student loans too. I was looking for breathing room and I knew the less debt we had, the better we’d sleep at night. I started this blog in hope of a better future, but also, out of desperation to find a better way.
Now, a year later, I made a realization this week as I was listening to an advertisement for home improvement supplies on the radio and thinking about the future for my family. Although our situation is far from perfect, I found myself thinking about possible home improvements we might make in the next few years and realized that I don’t live in desperation any longer. I live now in a place of, in a word, choice. The choices aren’t always easy, but I realized that I now feel like I have choices. I choose to devote our financial energy to eliminating our debt, but instead of feeling like that is our only hope, I feel like it is our best choice.
Moving from desperation to choice. Honestly, maybe the best realization our debt elimination journey has brought me to so far. In fact, I am starting to really feel like we can not only eliminate our debt, we’ll be able to stay out of debt in the future if we choose to. I’m starting to feel like our life has choices in it. It always did, of course, but it used to be so obscured by panic it was hard to see.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:06 am
This was a great post to start my morning off to. It really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing it
June 27th, 2008 at 8:16 am
You are very correct…much of life involves the choices we make. And if those choices are to better ourselves and our families,that leads to a better future.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:42 am
We are in a boat similar to the one you were in in June 2007. Thanks for the post. We’re beginning to shift our mindset as well and it’s a great feeling.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Choice is exactly how I define financial freedom. The choice to do whatever I want with my life (within reason of course) without money being the deciding factor.
I am currently in the same situation you once were and Julie D is now. Servicing the debt I have created and putting food on the table is nearly equal to my income and leaving me little or no wiggle room. I have made the commitment to debt elimination but am still in need of a plan on exactly how to do it. Keep up the great posts. You are an inspiration!
June 27th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Good sincere post. I’m glad you have climbed up enough out of that black hole of debt to see over the sides at least, and to know that you are making the choices now to keep going up. World sure looks different from further up the sides, doesn’t it
Good luck on the future! Glad your mind is no longer in panic mode – just in ‘be careful’ mode – whole lotta diffence!
June 27th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
My wife and I have been through the same journey. It seemed like we kept making more, but still never getting anywhere. Then we focused hard on paying off our credit card debt. Now we only use a credit card in the case of an emergency and are quick to pay them off. This is still not ideal, but we are getting better.
June 27th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
These types of posts are what really make your blog stand out! Keep up the wonderful writing and positive attitude.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
I’m in a similar place: finally feeling like I’ve got hope and can plan wisely for my financial future.
If you’re at all like me, I suspect that when you guys are 100% debt free, nothing will make you want to ever go back to that bondage.
That’s truly how I feel right now: I have choices but if I want to do the right thing – that is, pay my bills on time every month and have place to live! – but when I’m debt free with money in the bank I won’t have to answer to anyone.
I CAN’T WAIT!!
June 27th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
I’ve been there and made it out. My husband and I made a pledge to not use the cards. We would wait if we couldn’t pay cash. We chose our lowest balance card and paid extra on that one while continuing minimums on all the others. When that was paid off, we added the amount we’d been paying on the first (now closed!) card to the next lowest balance. It was like a snowball rolling downhill. As each card was paid off, the payment on the next one was even larger. We were amazed at how quickly we were able to get out of debt. We now have 2 credit cards instead of 10 or 15. We use one for autopaying some of our bills and one for purchases like hotel rooms, tickets, etc. They both get paid off every month. There’s no feeling like the freedom that brings. Good luck to you! You’ll make it!
June 30th, 2008 at 4:48 am
Been there myself, but only strict planning wasn’t just enough to get me out of the situation. I had to refinance my loan, but first I did my homework: research. Found out that if you research & compare well enough, you can finally find an arrangement to get you out of trouble.