Where Was That Time Machine, Anyway?
One of the most frustrating things about paying off significant debt for someone who does not have patience is the aspect of time. Patience is a virtue I sincerely do not possess. To balance that out though, perseverance is something I have almost to a fault. When I set my mind to do something, it gets done. Those two personality traits balance out to the idea that I know that we will get to where we are going, but I’m constantly frustrated that it takes such a long time. I know that you don’t get into debt in a day generally and you can’t get out in a day either, but it does seem a lot easier to get into debt than to get out of it.
I’m not that same person who got into debt, but as long as I still have the debt to show for it, it is hard to not feel like I am. That’s why getting to the point of eliminating credit card debt was so enticing for me. And now, since my past debts continue to have future ramifications, I haven’t gotten out of credit card debt yet. In fact, I’m about to increase it temporarily (again, past decisions have dictated future ones in ways I’m really not happy with).
When, in my random travels around the internet, I read statements chastising people who used credit cards in the past, are working hard to pay them off and fix those mistakes, but have hit bumps in the road, stating fairly obvious things like “You shouldn’t have charged things you couldn’t afford to immediately pay for” I think to myself – well, yes. But you can’t go back in time and erase the past, so what is the point of berating someone for something they are working to fix but haven’t finished fixing yet? Things don’t happen overnight. And when you have a large amount of debt, that debt somewhat dictates your future opportunities as well.
I told myself I would never use a credit card again to create debt I couldn’t immediately pay off. And yet, I am about to. In fact, my spouse applied for a new credit card (the 90 days same as cash financing is a branded credit card) to do just that. If I could come up with $900 more without taking from the kids college accounts, I would, and not create new debt at all. I’ve looked at all our options, and decided this is, for us, the most prudent one. I am hoping to be able to pay it off very quickly, but it may take a month or two depending on how our income sources are panning out. So my past debt, in my eyes, has dictated us making a choice I really did not want to make or even anticipate making.
This will be the first time in over 4 years I have used a credit card to bail me out of a predicament. I am sincerely hoping it is the last, and I will be focusing all my energy on making that a reality. No matter what priority shifts that entails. This setback has taught me more about myself than I ever thought it would, and it has strengthened my resolve to improve. But at the same time it is hard to not feel at least a twinge of failure facing the idea of charging a service and knowing the possibility of paying it off the first billing cycle is slim. I am still resolved to not pay any credit card interest, and will focus on that for the immediate future to keep me from feeling like this is a true backslide.
But the improvement won’t happen overnight. If I could go back in time and tell my past self to save more and spend less, because times aren’t always guaranteed to be good, I would. But it is too late for that now, and all I can do is try to improve the future for myself and my family, one day at a time.
January 9th, 2008 at 8:33 am
When you invent the time machine, will you lend it to me please? I’ve got a whole bunch of things, that can only be done with one.
January 9th, 2008 at 8:34 am
I am totally in agreement with you here. You’ve taken great strides to eliminate the debt that you incurred and can’t take back. You aren’t going for some quick fix filing for bankrupcy to not have to pay it. You’re working your butt off to do the responsible thing. Sometimes, we just don’t understand or know what our actions today are going to result in for tomorrow and we just have to do the best with what we’ve made for ourselves.
January 9th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I am total agreement that you shouldn’t beat yourself up for things that happened in the past (assuming you’ve learned from them). So I guess I don’t understand why you’re continuing to do so? It wasn’t your use of credit cards that got you into your current situation, it was a misuse. This time around, you’re doing it responsibly and with awareness. If the past has anything to do with the present, it’s in the lessons you’ve learned since.
January 9th, 2008 at 10:22 am
I think you made a smart decision and hope you’re able to stop berating yourself for past financial mistakes. When you know better, you do better – and your blog is a fantastic example of that.
I continue to find inspiration from personal finance blogs as I work to get out of credit card debt, but I’m oftentimes put off by the stringent attitudes of some commenters. Sometimes life gets in the way and credit cards become a temporary solution. It’s not an ideal situation, but it happens. And it doesn’t have to completely kill your financial goals. I, for one, think you’re doing a great job.
January 9th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Quoting George Santayana: “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
The fact that you remember what got you into the situation you are in is the main thing to consider. Don’t berate yourself over it, but use it to your advantage. Look into your past self and think about how you would have handled the car problem in the past. Now compare that to how you are handling it now. Feel better??
January 9th, 2008 at 11:21 am
*hugs*
January 9th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I’m not really beating myself up over it – yes, I am very irked about using credit right now. I thought I was past that point. But it is kind of like pulling a tooth – the anticipation of having it pulled stinks, and then it settles down after. Heh.
I’m more responding to some posts I read earlier in the week, where a person talked about problems they had with their credit card company etc (people who are, like me, trying to get out of debt, but it doesn’t happen overnight of course) and some of the responses were things like “You shouldn’t have charged things if you didn’t want to deal with the credit card company”
Well – yes. But many things in life you don’t get to relive a mistake for years and years and years to come
. I kind of think that a response like that misses the point a lot of times.
January 9th, 2008 at 11:52 am
I hear ya! I’m not patient either but God is working on me in this area. It’s just frustrating to have to take a step back when you’ve been working so hard to make those “baby steps” forward! Hang in there. The wisdom and responsiblity you’ve learned through the process will stand you in good stead in the years to come. This too will pass.
January 9th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
You can always buy this… (the price just caught my eye… not making light of your situation at all)
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/09/mean.mom.ap/index.html
January 9th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
In a sense, having to rely on a credit card now can be good for you. It will show you how much more responsible you’ve become and how much you’ve changed!
I think you should be very proud of how thoughtful this decision has been. I’m a big fan of responsible credit card usage and I believe strongly that mastering it is a greater accomplishment that giving credit cards up altogether. Which is to say, I think you’ve made the best choice in an imperfect situation.
(I read your blog through Google Reader so for all I know 30 people have already said this exact thing. Sorry if it’s a repeat.
January 9th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I know just what you mean when you talk about lack of patience! In fact, I wrote an entry about the disappointment of debt last week!
I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now – it’s one of my favorites because of your realistic writing style and viewpoint. You don’t mince words. I just wanted to add to what everyone else is saying – you have done an incredible job working towards your goals. I think it’s truly amazing that you are able to come up with all but several hundred of a multi-thousand dollar bill! That shows that although you aren’t at your goal yet, you’re really moving towards it!
And after you lend that time machine to plonkee, may I use it?
January 9th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I can very much relate to you. I’m in the process of getting rid of our credit card debts. While I thought one (of the 3) would be paid off this month, we just charged it for a refurbished iMac. Although I know my goals to pay them all off is realistic, my spouse’s student loan is looming above us and this stresses me out. In order to pay it cheaply – the least amount of fees we could find – we need to use credit card for it. I am getting antsy. I look at our finances everyday and sometimes feel that I’m the only one stressed!
January 9th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I just wanted to offer a little encouragement because I can sense your frustration. I hate not being able to accomplish my goals as intended too, especially when I’ve worked really hard, as you obviously have. I do know that you’ll have all of your debts paid off soon, maybe just not as soon as you’d planned. Hopefully you’ll get some “found” money very soon, whether as a gift, unexpected income, or something similar, that will kickstart your debt payoff again. Good luck!!!
January 9th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I understand the frustration. This time, though, you are using your credit as a tool to delay payment with a commitment to yourself to pay it off within a few months – not just handing over a piece of plastic and avoiding thinking about the ramifications.
You aren’t the person you were then. Even now, even though your debt is not yet paid off, I hope you can get to the point where you wear your mistakes as a source of pride, like soldiers wear their Purple Hearts. You are still winning the war – you’ve just lost a few yards of land, and you’ve got a great strategy for reclaiming them.
January 9th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Hey $3700 is a lot of moola! There are a lot of people around who would have a tough time fitting that amount into their budgets.
Mike
January 9th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Don’t beat yourself up about it. As long as you’re going to pay it off before interest hits, it’s a free short-term loan while your kids college funds can stay there and continue earning interest!
But I’m with you on the impatient thing. Plus, the reason it feels like it takes so much longer to get out of debt is because it’s so utterly painful having to refrain from buying the things you want. So it’s not just a lifestyle that must change, it’s a mentality. I’m still working to learn to be content with what I have and to remember that eventually everything I buy gets old or is forgotten. But onthe day my last credit card is paid off, that will never get old and never be forgotten!
Keep your head up. The guilt you feel is a good thing; it means you’re still committed to your cause.
January 9th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
If we don’t make the mistakes in the first place, how do we really learn? So many people had told me not to use credit cards, I had even been in credit card debt before, but lo an behold, we went back into debt. This time is the last time.
If you never had the credit card debt experience, would you be feeling this guilt and need to get rid of the car repair loan?
It’s easy for people to be in the position to anonymously say “if you never…” Well, no kidding. But it’s good for the motivation, if nothing else.