Don’t Be The Couple In The Parking Lot At WalMart
Arguing at the top of your lungs about money. Just don’t be those people.
When I was leaving WalMart yesterday with some cold medicine for my poor sick kids, I was followed out by a young couple, who proceeded to stand in the middle of the parking lot shouting at each other at the top of their lungs. The woman was yelling “Why do you keep spending money, we don’t have any money!” and the man was yelling back “I didn’t spend any money I just bought…”
The content of the argument as far as details and who is really at fault is immaterial (I didn’t stick around to listen, I kept going to my car quickly and unobtrusively), the point is - don’t be the couple arguing about money in a parking lot. Communication, at home quiet rational communication, is key.
Talk to your partner about money. Make sure you are both on the same page. Figure out what is really important to each of you and work out your compromises with each other so you both feel heard and you are working together as a team. If you are sharing your finances with another person, then you both should be involved in your overall budget and financial decisions.
That doesn’t mean that you both have to be actively involved in every single step all the time. My spouse does not want to have to deal with paying bills and tracking expenses and other things like that, so since I enjoy it, I do those tasks. Besides, he does the laundry instead - I definitely have the better deal there! We may not do every task jointly, but we talk about our overall financial goals (and he could take over the minutiae if he needed to for some reason) and we both have a say in what our goals are and what we are trying to accomplish, and also in how our money is budgeted. Unless one of us starts being completely deceptive, I can guarantee we won’t be the couple screeching at each other in a parking lot about the other spending money.
So if you share your finances with another person - make sure you communicate and you are both working together towards common goals. Don’t wait until you are a public spectacle.
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October 30th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I had to stop for a minute and wonder if you could be talking about me and my husband! Oh my gosh, what a reality check to realize how ridiculous we probably look when we argue in the parking lot of Walmart. What a great reminder to SHARE the responsibility of KNOWING about your finances. And to stop yelling at Walmart because people are watching
October 30th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Money is quite likely a major reason why I lost my girlfriend of 3 years and fiancee of 3 days. Well, that and the fact that she’s a you-know-what with a W-H in front. Not fun, but completely my fault for mooching off of her. Back before I was enlightened.
October 30th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I cannot fight in public. To me it’s so rude and disrespectful to your partner.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
I don’t argue in public, either. Besides the fact that it’s rude and makes others uncomfortable, I’m a private person in real life.
I think the scariest line was, “I didn’t spend any money I just bought…” How many people get into serious financial trouble because ‘I’m not spending money!’ (Granted, he may have meant, “I didn’t waste money; I only bought the necessity we needed. It was more expensive than we planned, but we need it for safety.” But I doubt it.)
October 30th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
I didn’t look! I ran and hid. lol
Fighting in public makes me feel kind of odd. I can’t do it myself.
October 31st, 2007 at 12:32 am
Good message, and I hope someday soon the Walmart people get it together. But more importantly…
how do you get your husband to do laundry??
October 31st, 2007 at 9:08 am
Pregnancy.
When I was pregnant, near the end I had some complications and I was forbidden to carry anything basically at all. Spouse started doing laundry then and somehow… I never took back over. lol
November 3rd, 2007 at 12:22 pm
That’s a funny story. Some people are totally oblivious when they’re making a spectacle of themselves.
Like you said, much better to have a calm discussion at home. And it sounds like you and your spouse operate like me and my wife. We each have our roles, but always communicate. That is the key.
November 12th, 2007 at 3:12 am
Maybe it was all a street performance piece? One can only hope… Seriously, though, sounds like they could use some couples therapy. I rather doubt that a pair like that are capable of a ‘calm discussion’ anywhere. It probably just gets louder when they are at home. I’m sure their neighbors know more than they want about those two…
On the other hand, I’m currently in Italy. And people here are loud in general. If something bugs them, they tend to speak up, passionately, and wave their hands. Five minutes later, however, it’s blown over and they are ready to eat, or whatever. Kinda freaked me out at first, because I come from a quiet family.