The fine line between frugality and obsession | I've Paid For This Twice Already... http://www.paidtwice.com/2007/09/10/the-fine-line-between-frugality-and-obsession/#comment-2003 Brip Blap Wed, 12 Sep 2007 10:32:52 +0000 http://www.paidtwice.com/2007/09/10/the-fine-line-between-frugality-and-obsession/#comment-2003 It's funny because we have the same problem with our "super enthusiastic about dissassembling" one-and-a-half year old. I read something, however, in "The Summerhill School" by A.S. Neill that impacted my thinking about this type of situation. You should never, ever let children believe that you are angry about the loss of things. Why? It teaches children that things are too valuable, too precious for them. It's similar to Gollum and his ring (showing the LOTR geek flag there). Paper towels are just a thing. Explain about money, fine, but make sure that you never make your children feel that you value things so highly, or you're setting them up to be hyperconsumers who treasure "stuff". You could argue whether that's psychologically proven, etc. but I try now not to get too upset when Little Buddy unrolls the toilet paper or drops something or takes apart a brand-new toy. I explain to him how these things should be properly used, then move on. It took some doing, but it's helpful. Ignore the cost. Teaching about the value of work and money is fine, but it has to be secondary to a child's natural desire to play and explore at these ages. That's my 10 cents of pop psychology for today... It’s funny because we have the same problem with our “super enthusiastic about dissassembling” one-and-a-half year old. I read something, however, in “The Summerhill School” by A.S. Neill that impacted my thinking about this type of situation. You should never, ever let children believe that you are angry about the loss of things. Why? It teaches children that things are too valuable, too precious for them. It’s similar to Gollum and his ring (showing the LOTR geek flag there). Paper towels are just a thing. Explain about money, fine, but make sure that you never make your children feel that you value things so highly, or you’re setting them up to be hyperconsumers who treasure “stuff”.

You could argue whether that’s psychologically proven, etc. but I try now not to get too upset when Little Buddy unrolls the toilet paper or drops something or takes apart a brand-new toy. I explain to him how these things should be properly used, then move on. It took some doing, but it’s helpful. Ignore the cost. Teaching about the value of work and money is fine, but it has to be secondary to a child’s natural desire to play and explore at these ages.

That’s my 10 cents of pop psychology for today…

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